Madara-sensei!
by Of Healing Love
Summary: In which Sasuke is terrified, Sakura is intrigued, Naruto is in trouble, and Madara is their psychopathic substitute English teacher. MadaSaku.
1. English Class 1-C

_PLEASE READ THIS NOTE!i_

_Hi! A few notes on this story, my newest venture. It will be short, no longer than 10-20k words and is more for fun than anything. For all of you reading WCBS, The Only Thing I Know, or To End an Era, I haven't been able to work on them because of wrist surgery and the update schedule goes: The Only Thing I Know (earliest Tuesday), WCBS (earliest Friday) and To End an Era (no later than next Saturday.)_

_Note One: Sasuke seems out of character because I'm making it so that he has had a much better home life in this AU. Fugaku is still terrifying, but he's not a major asshole. Sasuke does not have as bad of a big-brother complex here, either._

_Note Two: This story will be bipolar. Sometimes it will be light-hearted and an attempt at humor and other times it will be dark and bastard-ish._

_Note Three and THE MOST IMPORTANT: This fic is inspired by people on Fanfiction who make commonly known mistakes when writing. Every chapter is a grammar class covering common mistakes people make on Fanfiction. However, while I hope you pay attention to the 'lessons', this is also a tentative romance between Sakura and Madara, although this is not in the "Romance" genre. While it's meant to be educational, I'm disguising my lessons in an actual story. So even if your English is perfect, you can still enjoy it!_

_I hope you all like this first chapter!_

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><p><strong>English Class 1-C<strong>

Haruno Sakura was not impressed by her homeroom teacher in the final year of her high school education. Hatake Kakashi was a relatively young teacher who she admitted was rather…strange. The scarf that covered the majority of his lower face and the eye patch and scar that suggested a rather nasty car accident were things that she felt she shouldn't judge him for, although she kind of did anyways since the rumor behind the scarf was that he had mysophobia—or rather, an irrationally extreme fear of germs. There was also fact that he read porn openly during homeroom and had a veritable mountain of American Playboy magazines hidden somewhere in his desk. This widely-sought after intel had been obtained by her best friend Uzumaki Naruto, who had discovered the stash during detention on the first day of class.

Even though the students who hadn't been in a homeroom class with Haruno Sakura, Uzumaki Naruto, and Uchiha Sasuke were surprised that it was possible for someone to get in trouble on the very first day of class, in the last year and most important year of high school at that, Sakura and Sasuke took this as run of the mill shenanigans for the blonde. Unfortunately, there was little Naruto could do to surprise either of them anymore.

Sakura frowned as she tapped her pencil in irritation on the edge of her desk while waiting for the next teacher to arrive. It was supposed to be their English teacher and while Sakura had always hated English, she supposed that Genma-sensei wasn't all that bad. He was also a rather odd character and rumored to be friends with Kakashi, which was not exactly shocking to her, but she was a little surprised that he taught English of all things.

"Sasuke-kun," she murmured discreetly from her desk in-between Naruto and Sasuke. "When's Genma-sensei going to be here? He's late."

Sasuke had been scrolling through his phone and Sakura noticed that he was a particularly white shade of pale by the time he closed his phone to answer her.

"Genma-sensei isn't coming," he said, audibly gulping. Sakura glanced at him strangely. Sasuke was white as a sheet and his pupils were dilated, although that was an observation only someone very close to him could notice because his eyes were already very dark.

"What do you mean, Genma-sensei isn't coming?" Naruto demanded. Then, his eyes lit up. "No pop quiz today then! I knew it was going to be a good day when I woke up this morning!"

Sasuke shook his head. "No, it's a nightmare, you idiot," he hissed.

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "Why is free study hour a nightmare?" she asked skeptically.

Almost frantically, Sasuke slid through several screens on his smart phone before coming to his text message screen. "This is a text message from Itachi," Sasuke explained as he held the phone for both Sakura and Naruto to see. Sakura raised both eyebrows now.

"Why is Itachi texting you all the way from America?" she asked.

"Just read it!" Sasuke was sweating.

From: Aniki

To: Me

Timestamp: 11:42am

Message Body: Uncle has been called to bring your English class up to speed. Chichi-ue is not happy that your class is failing so miserably. Have you been neglecting your studies, otouto?

Now, Naruto was pale. "Your dad is scary, Sasuke."

Sasuke shook his head. "No, Madara-sama is who's scary. He makes my dad look like a saint. He's a professor at Tokyo U and the fact that he's coming to teach here…" Beads of sweat had gathered at Sasuke's forehead. "This is going to be a disaster."

Sakura was unimpressed and rather excited. "What's so bad about getting special help with English? I know mine sucks and it's kind of a wonderful opportunity to get taught by a professor, you know."

Sasuke shook his head again, this time much more vehement than the last. "Madara-sensei is bad. Bad, bad, bad. Madara is a bastard and I mean that in the worst sense possible. This is _not_ an opportunity. This is _not_ cause for celebration. Abort mission. I repeat, _abort mission._"

"Sasuke-kun, you're being dramatic," Sakura snapped, pushing his phone away from her. "I'm sure he's strict or whatever, because he's related to _you, _but I can't see how getting taught by a Tokyo U professor is bad."

"He's not strict because he's related to me!" Sasuke argued angrily. "He's strict because-"

At that moment, the door to the classroom opened and in stepped a man of impressive stature. He had the signature Uchiha black hair and eyes, pale skin, and inherent beauty-gene, all of which Sakura noticed immediately. His hair was long and spikey, reaching to the middle of his back—which Sakura admitted was entirely unprofessional and also completely gorgeous—and his eyes shone with wisdom, intelligence, and…

_Danger. Danger. Abort Mission. I repeat, ABORT MISSION._

She could see the wicked gleam in his eyes even from the third row to the front. This was a sadist at the very least—she could see it in his feral smirk as he eyed the naïve children looking at him with curiosity and a little awe.

"-he's a sociopath," Sasuke finished in a tiny whisper. "He hates people and adores them all at the same time." Conspiratorially, Sasuke leaned closer to whisper in Sakura's ear, "He's _insane_."

"Hello, class," he said in a deep baritone voice that Sakura, despite all the bad things Sasuke had said about Madara yet, could not help but find attractive. "Your other teacher is currently indisposed and I have been asked to be your substitute. Everybody stand."

There was a bit of hesitation at the odd command, students looking back and forth at each other in confusion, but eventually the entire class rose to their feet.

"Everyone will introduce themselves by last name only, include their strongest subject, and one thing about themselves that I should know."

There was irritated grumbling throughout the class. They had done this two weeks ago on the first day and it was annoying to go through it again. Sakura still didn't see what was so terrible about him; he actually seemed rather norma-

_CRACK!_

Everyone in the room jumped sky high as the sound of a gunshot rang through the room and the grumbling was immediately silenced. Luckily, instead of a gun it had actually been a textbook slamming on the teacher's desk at top-speed, but the effect had been the same. Madara smiled placidly at them, as though the collective class body hadn't just experienced mini heart-attacks, and motioned to the first student in the front row.

"Last name, strongest subject, interesting fact," Madara said to him.

"I-Inuzuka," Kiba stammered, still recovering from the sound. "My strongest class is…gym and my family breeds Tibetan mastiffs."

Madara nodded curtly, although his mouth twisted ever-so-slightly in disdain when Kiba mentioned that his best class was gym. "Next."

"H-H-Hyuuga," Hinata stuttered at a whisper, her voice barely audible. "My str-strongest c-class is E-Engli-"

"Speak _up!_" Madara snapped, and Hinata flinched. Sakura and Naruto scowled simultaneously.

"Jackass," Naruto muttered. Several students were ballsy enough to snicker. Hinata looked like she would burst into tears.

Unfortunately for Naruto, Madara had heard his unwise comment and raised his hand to stop Hinata from continuing. Hinata flinched again, averting her eyes to her desk, and Madara stalked towards the third row.

Most everyone in the third row had heard Naruto's comment, but as Madara's eyes scanned the row looking for the perpetrator, the humor of the situation rapidly vanished and the students could not make eye contact.

Madara finally spoke. "I don't play games with insubordinate students." He gestured to the third row in its entirety. "All of you, detention."

There were gasps of horror from everyone, Sakura's being the loudest. "You can't do that!" she said angrily. She was dutifully in denial about the fact that she had been one of the ones to snicker and had fully agreed with Naruto's assessment.

"Three days' detention for you," Madara shot back. "Name?"

"Haruno," Sakura replied through grit teeth. She fought back tears. She'd never had detention in her life.

Madara nodded after committing the name to memory and then returned to Hinata. Silence ensued now that they knew this man was not someone they could sass. Genma was quite lenient and open to opinions, but Madara-sensei was certainly…not.

The rest of the introductions went well up until it was Naruto's turn. "Uzumaki. My strongest class is Creative Writing and my favorite food is ramen."

Madara said nothing in response and turned to Sakura. Still angry from her unfair sentencing, Sakura couldn't restrain the irritation in her voice. "Haruno. Science. Doctor."

Madara raised an eyebrow and Sakura stared back at him challengingly. "Care to clarify, Haruno?" he asked. His voice was smooth, but he was daring her to defy him.

Sakura stared back belligerently. "No."

"One week detention. Try again."

Fighting her tears, she said, "No." This man was a bully! She wasn't going to bow to him!

"Two weeks' detention. Last chance, Haruno."

"_No._" If she was going to go down, she would go down fighting.

"One month detention and I'll see you in my office after school. You are also dismissed from my class for the day."

Eyes stinging with tears of indignation, Sakura grabbed her books with a little too much force and began to stomp out of the room. Naruto was looking at her with undisguised pride at her ability to stand up to their asshole substitute teacher, but Sasuke was looking at her with careful, guarded pity. Sakura shrugged at him.

"My, my, if it isn't Sasuke-kun," Madara said as he advanced forward in the row. "No need to introduce yourself. I already know _plenty_ about you from your father."

The silence following the statement was particularly unfriendly and Sakura was only too happy to excuse herself from the class.

How much did it suck that her teacher was the most gorgeous man she'd ever seen in her life and the biggest asshole she'd ever met all in one pretty package?

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><p><em>This is technically the prologue, so no lesson today. How did I do? Do you want this story to continue? <strong>Any lessons you hope that I will include in this story?<strong> I'm taking requests for every chapter!_


	2. Bastard-sensei

_Hey everyone!_

_So sorry that this took so long to update. I will be on a more regular schedule soon, hopefully. These are short chapters right now but I hope to make them longer with time. I suppose you could say this is something of a semi-drabble fic._

_Anyways, no lesson today, just a little more plot set-up. I hope you all enjoy!_

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><p><strong>Bastard-sensei<strong>

Sakura spent the time in which she had been exiled from her classroom to study for the biology test Asuma-sensei would be giving them next period. She did her best not to think about the disastrous class that had been Madara-sensei's and focused wholly on preparing for her test.

When the door opened and Madara strode outside after class, Sakura couldn't help but flinch. Was he going to yell at her? Say some scathing remark to shame her a little bit more—the icing on the cake of humiliation?

He paused and Sakura looked up at him warily, but all he did was smirk as they made eye contact and then went on his merry way to the next class he was to terrorize.

After that little encounter, Sakura's day continued on with agonizing slowness, the fact that she had the wonderful joy of seeing Bastard-sensei, as she had dubbed him, after class. Did he even have an office? He was only a substitute teacher, after all.

Sakura felt she did as well as could be expected on her biology test—which meant, of course, that she got an A-plus—and then plodded through the rest of the day. When the bell rang that signified the end of the school day, Sakura stood up with all the grace of a samurai about to commit seppuku and gathered her things.

Sasuke was watching her silently with a pitying look in his eyes. Naruto, however, seemed somehow invigorated about her plight.

"You really showed him, Sakura-chan!" he said loudly, raising a fist in the air as if to rally his comrades-in-misery around him.

"And now he's really going to show me," Sakura replied dully, stuffing her enormous calculus textbook into her backpack and wedging it in next to her equally enormous English, Japanese, biology, health, and physics textbooks.

Sasuke stood, having finished stowing away the massive assortment of educational literature. Sighing, he placed his hand on Sakura's shoulders and looked at her solemnly.

"Good luck. If you don't come to class tomorrow, rest assured that I know the most likely places Madara might hide your body and you'll at least get a proper burial."

Sakura glared at him. "Yes. I'm _very _reassured," she said dryly.

Naruto didn't seem convinced, though. "Oh, come on, teme, don't make promises you can't keep. For all we know he'll dismember her first. You sure you know _all_ the places he could hide the various limbs and-?"

"THANKS GUYS," Sakura interjected loudly, pointedly lugging her backpack over her shoulder. Unfortunately, she underestimated the weight of her bag and stumbled backwards a little as it settled on her back.

"Oh, come on, we're just joking," Naruto told her with a cheesy smile, which was probably meant to be comforting but only reminded Sakura that her blond friend was an eternal optimist and she probably _was_ going to be dismembered.

"I'm not," Sasuke muttered as he followed Sakura's lead out the door of the classroom.

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><p>Sasuke and Naruto left for the room where detention was held while Sakura was left to her fate of tracking down Bastard-sensei's office dubiously. After asking Inuzuka Hana, who was a TA for class 1-D, she was sent up three flights of stairs to the top floor and then continued to wander aimlessly before she finally found a door that had the last name "Uchiha" in bold letters off to the side.<p>

Hesitantly, she knocked on the door.

She was slightly surprised that Bastard-sensei actually _did_ have an office. When she heard a muffled voice call for her to enter, Sakura flinched and opened the door tentatively, peeking her head in.

Okay, maybe office was too strong of a word.

It was more like a dungeon. The lighting was unsurprisingly dim and there were no windows. Madara sat at his desk with his fingers forming a steeple under his chin, his dark eyes roving over what appeared to be a thick packet of school policies.

Upon hearing the door open, he glanced up at her and then a sadistic smirk quirked his lips. "Ah, Haruno-san. Come in."

Swallowing hard, Sakura inched her way into the room and then flinched as the door swung shut ominously behind her.

She stood in the doorway, paralyzed, until Madara motioned for her to sit in the chair across from his desk. She did so, and as her book bag dropped to the ground, the loud _thwack_ of the 30 lbs. monstrosity landing made her nearly jump back out of her seat and high tail it out of the room.

After a few minutes of a terrifying, one-sided staring contest where Sakura focused on Bastard-sensei's tight button-down shirt—hot _damn_ those were some abs, why did he have to be such an asshole?—and he inspected her as if looking for something specific, Madara cleared his throat and picked up the school policy packet with his thumb and his index finger. He dangled it in front of her and Sakura eyes averted from his chest to the page that was open for her to see.

Shit. He had been reading the disciplinary actions page. Sweet Jesus, what had she done to deserve this?

"Since you were so _late_," Bastard-sensei said calmly, "I took the time to review your school's policies. It seems there are many ways to properly discipline a student, and some of them are quite…open to interpretation, unfortunately for you."

Sakura gulped.

"For example," he turned the packet to face him and read, "'23.4 – If a student disobeys a direct order from his or her teacher, disciplinary action may be taken appropriate to the situation.' Rather vague, wouldn't you say?"

Sakura wasn't sure if this was an actual question or merely rhetorical, so she nodded weakly in compromise.

"However, I am a fair man." Sakura almost barked out a laugh, but fear of brutal dismemberment and death kept her quiet. "So, a question: if you were in my position, what measures would you take to ensure respect from your students?"

_Not be a dick_, was Sakura's immediate answer, but she rather thought that such a statement wouldn't go over well. Instead, she replied, "I would show my students the respect that I wanted them to show me." There. That was fairly diplomatic, in her opinion.

Bastard-sensei wasn't satisfied, however. "And if they failed to show the respect that you so generously showed them?"

"I…I suppose I would give them d-detention, or…" _please don't dismember me _"make them do extra credit work?" It came out as more of a question than a statement.

"Hm. Extra credit work, you say?"

Sakura nodded fervently.

He seemed to think this over for a moment before his eyes hardened and glinted in a way that made Sakura pretty damn sure this wasn't going to go over well.

"Very well. Instead of detention, you will spend the remainder of my time here assisting me with menial tasks before and after school and during lunch."

He was eliminating her detention? How fantastic! She sighed in relief before the rest of his statement caught up to her.

"Wait, what?"

Madara rolled his eyes in irritation. "Essentially, you will become my TA without any of the benefits and you will not be teaching in class. This will continue until I am relieved of duty here."

Sakura's mouth hung open quite unattractively. This was-this was-

"This is slavery!" she blurted out angrily.

He didn't deign that with a response, but his satisfaction with her reaction was clear. "Perhaps with your next teacher you will be more respectful, hm?"

She could only sit there, stunned, as the horror of her situation sank in.

Madara was done, it seemed. "That will be all. I expect to see you here tomorrow at 6am sharp."

Numbly, Sakura nodded, stood, and hefted her backpack over her shoulder. She began to make her way out the door.

"Don't be late," he reminded her as the door swung shut behind her. Sakura ignored him, although she knew she wouldn't be late.

Bastard-sensei, indeed.

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><p><em>So, I'm still taking requests for things you want all Fanfiction writers to be reminded of. So far we only have the Oxford comma requested, so please people, more requests! And, as always, please review!<em>

_Ja ne!_


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